Dr. Itisha Nagar‘s work is driven by the pursuit of authenticity and connection. She’s a psychologist, who worked as an assistant professor at Delhi University’s Kamala Nehru College for close to a decade, and now, has a deeply engaged following online, where she bridges the emotional with the intellectual in ways that feel refreshingly honest. Her presence on social media is equal parts protest, reflection, and poetry, and for many of her followers, that serves as a lifeline of softness in a noisy digital world. In this interview, she talks about how her work evolved, what it means to show up authentically, and what change she’s hoping to build in the world — one post, one class, one conversation at a time.
What led you to the work you’re doing now? Was there ever a turning point where you felt, ‘This needs to exist, and I’m going to build it’?
I’ve always been drawn to psychology, and the most alive I’ve felt is in classrooms where we discussed society, emotions, human behavior, et al. I’ve also always loved reading, writing, and learning about people’s lives. But there was barely any space for these conversations growing up. Aside from Panchatantra stories and, maybe, a few moral science classes here and there, no one really talked about people with the care and depth they deserve.
Social media, for me, started as an outlet. I was always sharing thoughts on my personal page, but around 2019, especially during the CAA protests, I needed a space to express the overwhelming emotions I was feeling. And then, things just kept happening: the Gargi College incident where students were sexually harassed just next door to where I was teaching, or uniform checks in schools that reeked of gendered control. I couldn’t stay silent. So, it started as a diary, just me writing into the void.
I wasn’t chasing virality, you know, or trying to become an ‘influencer.’ It was simply a place for me to process my thoughts, reflect, and connect with people. But over time, I realized this needed to exist as a space where ungovernable, vulnerable, thinking women can simply be.
What’s a major challenge you’ve faced on this journey, either in your online presence or otherwise, and how did you deal with it?
The biggest challenge, I think, has been learning to see myself, holding space for myself with compassion, and not losing myself in the expectations the world places on women, especially someone like me who isn’t living a ‘conventional’ life. We live in a world that demands performance of care, politeness, womanhood… and as someone navigating structural disadvantages, it’s easy to internalize those scripts. So, every day becomes a negotiation between being true to yourself and being socially palatable, which is exhausting.
Then, there’s the loneliness. Patriarchy made me a feminist, yes, but it also made me wary. Like, how do you desire intimacy when the very systems that taught you to fear harm also push you to seek connection? How do I trust nearly half of humankind? That’s been one of the most challenging emotional contradictions to hold.
What kind of change do you hope to create through the way you show up in the world?
My work is about authenticity, kindness, and reflection. I want people to feel deeply, to sit with their pain, to be soft with themselves and with others… I think that’s the real revolution.
I believe the only way to make the world less violent is by tending to our own inner darkness. If my work helps someone pause before hurting another person, if it nudges someone to laugh, cry, or feel seen, that’s the change I want to contribute to.
And I don’t want to be secluded. I want to connect with others and say, ‘Hey, let’s spin the things around!’ We talk about being sexually harassed, about being abused, but we also talk about our joys. We talking about caste, class, music, funny, random, weird jokes, and animals, pets, you know? This is the kind of soft world I want to create. I want us to return to what really matters.
What gap do you feel you’re filling right now through your work, and why does that feel urgent to you?
The gap, I’d say, is authenticity. Being a woman in her 30s, unmarried, without children, living a life that doesn’t follow the normative script, feels like a rebellion, but I’m not trying to be rebellious — I’m just trying to live honestly. I never set out to be relatable, and was just trying to make sense of my own thoughts. But when people began responding with things like, ‘I feel the same,’ and ‘This is me too,’ that’s when I realized how rare it is to encounter something that simply feels true.
We’re living in a hyper-performative, post-truth digital world where everyone’s chasing aesthetics, optics, and numbers, but deep down, what people are actually craving is to feel seen.
What’s next for you? Where do you see yourself heading over the next few years?
I want to teach healing, and create spaces where people can learn to feel safe in their bodies, their stories, and their pain. Leadership scares me, but I want to build things — like, not just critique the system, but design alternatives. Whether it’s through workshops, collectives, or curriculum, I want to make healing practical, accessible, and communal.
Also, my creativity lies in teaching, and that’s how I want to serve: by sharing what I’ve lived, felt, and thought through. And in doing so, I hope to help people meet themselves a little more gently.
I believe the only way to make the world less violent is by tending to our own inner darkness.
Dr. Itisha Nagar
